Words by: Kai Coates
What’s Your Love Language?
I’m sure you show your love for your significant other regularly, but do you make sure that you’re communicating it the way your partner wants you to? It is essential to know your and your partner’s love language to truly express your love for each other in the best way possible. There are five different love languages, and some people stick to one or have their top three.
Words of Affirmation
It’s all about words and communication; you feel love when receiving unexpected notes and messages from your partner. If your partner has words of affirmation as a love language, then to express it to them, you must listen actively, appreciate, encourage them, and don’t forget compliments.
How: Buy some colourful sticky notes and write a loving message. Write about one reason why you love them or a ‘remember when’ from your relationship together and place it as a surprise where they can notice it easily. Feel like you want something longer and loving? Write them a love letter! Yes, with the “Dear love/darling/honey/dork” (whatever nickname you have for them) and express your love through your words.
This one is a non-verbal love language. It’s all about touch, may this be holding hands, hugs, or kisses. If you’re like me, you understand that you feel your partner’s love from a forehead kiss or cuddling together watching Netflix. We want to feel the love physically; if your partner’s love language is this, then know that it shows your love for them every time you hold their hand, kiss them, or get intimate.
How: Try planning a special intimate evening with your partner or go on a beautiful beach stroll on our Ballito promenade and hold their hand.
It is not about big lavish gifts but the thought behind the gift given. A person who has this as their love language feels love in even the smallest gift, like a beautiful bouquet or their favourite sweet. It could even be an item of clothing that they’ve been talking about or needing.
How: It’s more about the thought and effort of the gift given, so here in Ballito, we have many places for you to get gifts to show your love and appreciation for your partner. If your man has this LL, then The Gentry is the shop for you. With their everything manly and exciting gift ideas, you’ll find something perfect for them. For the men looking for beautiful flowers but wanting to make it extra special, go to Odyssey Flowers and Gifts and create a personalised floral arrangement. It will surely put a big smile on her face!
It’s all about one-on-one time, not going out with a bunch of people and spending time together there. This person wants quality over quantity of time and your undivided attention. This means putting down the cell phone, turning off the tablet, making eye contact, and listening.
How: Plan a romantic dinner just for the two of you to express your love for each other, with a lovely view (of your partner, of course, *wink*) and be present in the time you spend with them. Our amazing Ballito beachfront has many restaurants to choose from, all with different atmospheres and foods.
Acts of Service
This person feels loved and appreciated when someone does nice things for them, such as helping with the dishes, running errands, vacuuming, or putting petrol in the car. They love when people do little things for them and often do these acts for others. If your partner’s love language is acts of service, they want to know that you are with them and partnered with them.
How: When thinking acts of service, think about something to help them make life, work, kids, or the day easier, or something to pamper them! Make them a cup of coffee, run them a bath with lovely smelling bath salts, put together breakfast in bed or spoil them with a lovely home-cooked dinner. Remember that the smallest act counts!
You know the saying opposites attract, well the same goes for love languages. You will probably end up with someone whose primary love language is completely opposite to yours. This is not just ANYTHING – this is what makes them feel love. It is the hardest one of all to get right, to maintain and for some to do as it does not come naturally! So much so that an entire book has been written to help us mere humans in relationships. It’s never easy, but always worth it, to put effort into the one thing meant to last a lifetime and beyond. P.S. love languages also apply to your kids!